Phoenix Insomniac
by batman100
Summary: Jean has insomnia yet again and the X-Men try everything and literally anything to keep Jean stable and also keep Logan and Rogue's constant grouchiness in order. Good luck guys. You're going to need it...


**Phoenix Insomniac**

It was a cold brisk Sunday afternoon at the X-Mansion, and everything was energetic and beautiful

"Uggh…" Jean moaned

Well, almost everything…

"Jean still has that insomnia thing? Huh, I thought that was temporary." Lance noted, observing Jean's restless state on the security camera in the central control office with Scott, Kurt, Tabitha and Peter in tow

"Just how in the heck does she get like this anyway? That's been on my mind ever since that fiasco at Las Vegas in the last story." Kurt piped up

"You still remember that? All **I** ever heard was a loud animalistic roar, some people either cheering wildly or running for cover, and I distinctly recall Remy making a rather crazy parking spot in the slot machine area, nearly running over poor Jean in the process!" Tabitha ranted

"How'd you notice all of a sudden? All you did during the trip was snooze, eat, drink caffeine twenty-four/seven, oh and also using up all the hot water." Rogue remarked

"Hey, cmon now! Even my time bombs need refueling now and then with some hot water!" Tabitha snapped

"She has a point." Peter commented as Scott watched the scene

"I mean seriously, Rogue, what else did you want me to do? Use sun block on my skin instead? That'd be doing something out of them crazy survival reality shows, for cryin out loud!" Tabitha ranted

"Oh boy, I can see where **this** is going…" Rogue rolled her eyes in boredom

"Tell me about it. It's kinda funny, you know." Scott snickered, with a goofy look on his face

"You've been around with Bobby too long, bub. Keep it up and maybe that so-called hot blooded visor may start turning ice blue…if you get my drift." Logan grunted

"Be that as it may, might we focus on Jean rather than continue this senseless debate? It's making my brain scramble. And I don't mean like a pinball machine!" Rogue blubbered insanely

"Since when did **you** become a pinball historian?" Kurt asked observingly

"Do brains look and taste like bubble gum?" Rogue snapped sarcastically

"Ask a stupid question…" Scott groaned, slapping his forehead

"Reindeers on the pool hole! This missile will conflagrate in seven decimeters!" Jean babbled, as she stumbled into the office, looking bleary and with bloodshot eyes

"Ok, remind me again **why** did I let Jean be in charge of the X-Mansion again?" Scott asked

"You're asking **me**?!" Logan grouched, watching Jean's delirious state

"Uggh…wanna feel high…high up in the air…"Jean rambled insanely

"Does the words 'Do Not do Drugs' mean **anything** in that clouded up brain of yours?!" Rogue grouched

"Who are you?" Jean asked dazedly

"Oh great. First Jean loses sleep, **now** she's completely lost her marbles. What's next: She digs up the Titanic?!" Rogue grumbled

"Now Rogue; Jean is in an inebriated state, but the chances of sobriety are useful. We have to wait before she regains function." Scott noted

"What's inebriate? Isn't that like an invertebrate?" Jean asked, with a goofy confused look

"This may take a lot of work…" Peter groaned

"Oh come on, what can go wrong?" Scott asked rhetorically

One minute later…

"You just **can't** keep your mouth shut, cant you?" Logan barked as the X-Gang watched Jean slumber on the couch, her body slouched on the top and the bottom half

"How much tranquilizers did you use to keep Ms. Astro Nut in snooze mode?" Rogue asked

"Forty." Forge answered

"Oh you've got to be joking: Since when the bloody hell do you use forty lousy darts against Jean, who's acting like a character out of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas!" Rogue snapped

"I loved that movie." Scott replied, having that goofy look again

"Stow it cyke." Logan grumbled

"Urrgh…must jump over the hill…Alderaan…need the Dagobah system…" Jean mumbled in her sleep

"What the hell is she blubbering about?!" Rogue barked

"Oh we were watching Star Wars while on our Caribbean cruise." Scott answered

"That's a bad idea." Logan commented, noting Jean's unusual dreams

"Darth Vader….Tatooine…ugh….large banthas…urgh…must destroy…Death Star." Jean mumbled, tossing and turning

"Ok that's it!" Rogue grumbled, walking over to Jean

"What are you doing?!" Scott asked

"Getting the darts out of the system." Rogue commented, carefully removing the tranq darts out from Jean's body

Two minutes later…

"Ah! Operation successful!" Scott boasted, as the X-Gang watched Jean sleep, now more comfortably

"How in the heck did you get all them surgical strategies?" Lance asked in astonishment

"Oh, I took that Mutant Surgeon 101 class with Hank last week. It was pretty interesting. And fun." Scott answered

"Well at least the insomnia craziness is over." Rogue remarked, stroking Jean's hair while she lightly snored

"Say, where the hell's Logan?" Kurt asked, looking around

"Death Star operational! Commence destruction of Alderaan!" Logan babbled, stumbling over the hardwood floor

"Here we go again…" Scott groaned, shooting tranq darts at Logan


End file.
